A Svenske Christmas Carroll

The following poem was written by my grandfather Chuck quite a few years ago and it has been a Taylor family tradition to have this recited every Christmas season. Since both my sister and I now live half way across the country (she live the whole way) we decided that we wanted to preserve this family tradition and asked for a copy from Dad. We were a little dismayed when what we got looked something like "Dare vas a nite befor Chistmas, I vas combing my hair. My freesser vas empty..." So after a night of translation, spell checking, grammer punctuating and adding a line so the meter would match we came up with a slightly more polished version of what my grandfather calls A Svenske Christmas Carroll. Without further ado:

A Svenske Christmas Carroll
by Charles Addison Taylor

T’was the night before Christmas, I was combing my hair,
My freezer was empty, my cupboard was bare,
And all at once I heard such a racket.
My head she was bursting; I hardly could hack it.

I limped to the window to see what it was:
There was old Santa, red nose, whisker fuzz,
And out on the front yard, hitched to the sleigh
Were nine beautiful reindeer (the front one was Rudolf); I thought, “What a day!”

There was meat for my freezer and more for a stew!
I grabbed my Huskvarna, I knew what to do.
With only five shots, there in the snow
All nine reindeer lay dead, in a neat row.

And there was Santa screaming, “Now what will I do?”
I said, “Go soak your head, you silly old pooh!" (He was a Norwegian.)
Then I skinned and I butchered and I cut and I wrapped
All that good meat while everybody slept.

Then I washed and I scrubbed and I climbed into bed–
Oh my goodness, my sick aching head.
Then I wiggled and jerked and I woke with a start
There was a bright Christmas sun warming my heart.

My head was much better, the air was all clear,
There had been way too much of that free Christmas cheer.
I stretched and yawned, and as my feet hit the floor
I began to think of the night before

And the evil deed I had done.
So I went to the front yard to look at the lawn–
There was no bloody mess there on the snow,
Just two neat tracks that did come and did go.

I knew right away there was something the matter,
So I went in the house to look in the freezer.
I lifted the lid just a wee tiny crack,
And my nose got a big beautiful smack

Of lutefisk and smoked herring!
It was full to the brim and on top was a note
“Merry Christmas to all”
And that was all that he wrote.