Forgotten but not Lost

It isn't an unfamiliar phrase. It is said quite often at funerals, memorial services, walls of remembrances, candle light vigils. People say with solemnity, with tears, that their loved ones are lost but not forgotten.

But what of the people who are forgotten but not lost? I am one of those people - the ones who fade into the background of others' minds, that niggling thought in your head that you can't quite remember. I am not lost. I know where I am, what surounds me and which direction to go from here. I am not lost, but I am oft forgotten. There are always better things, other things, more interesting things to be done. And so plans that were made, dates that were set, times that were arranged are laid - unintentionally - at the wayside in favor of the fascinating, the exciting, the engaging.

The feeling of being forgotten is worse than the feeling of being lost. If you are lost you can find your way again - but if you are forgotten there is nothing you can do to be remembered - without being someone other than yourself, without being obvious about your hurt.

To be forgotten is to be left behind; to not be memorable enough to warrant being taken along - to not be [insert positive adjective here] to be brought along. To be forgotten is to fade away. To be no longer in the forefront of someone's thoughts, to not even be in the background of someone's thoughts.

I never have to wonder what it is like to be forgotten as soon as I have left the soon. I never have to wonder what it is like to be excluded - not from spite or ill thoughts - but because I am not thought of. No one ever thinks "hey, we should invite Rebecca (Becky)!" No one ever thinks "I should introduce her to my friends, they'd get along great!" Not because they think I wouldn't get along great, but because it never crosses their mind.

And so, in my lost abandon, I succumb again to being forgotten.