I have nowhere to go

I used to have good coping mechanizms for when things went wrong. I used to have plans in place so that I could do what I needed to do to save myself - to allow myself to feel better so when I went back to look at why I felt so bad, why I was hurt so much I would be able to work through it quickly and let it go with peace. Now all my safe havens are gone and I have nowhere to go - no one to turn to.

I wish I had a Jack O'Neill to say "For this, you can stay at my place." My Jack O'Neil moved to Colorado. I really do bless her in going, I'm so happy for her new life and all the places she is going. But I can't help but lament the loss of being able to call her up and ask "Can I take you to dinner?" or "can we hang out tonight?" Just being able to have someone to eat chocolate with and cry about how awful I feel made me feel so much better and like things weren't as bad as my head and heart made them out to be.

What makes it worse is that the one person who should always be my safe haven is the one that I can never go to...