Little Lost Girl

Something doesn't feel quite right - it feels like something is missing or maybe that I'm missing something, something I should have picked up on. I want to ask questions, but I don't know if they would be well received or if the reason I want to ask the questions is baseless. I know sometimes I can be pushy, but I try hard not to be, I try hard to give people space to tell me things in their own time, and only to tell me if they feel comfortable.

I struggle with holding the line between being concerned, wanting to help and letting people decide if I'm the person they should be talking to. When to push, when to leave things be - how do you tell if demanding an answer is going to do more ham than good or if you need to the needle that lances the abscess?

I guess I'm just feeling a little lost right now. I want to be that friend that you can turn to any time of the day or night and be like "I just need to a friend right now" but at the same time I wish I had a friend like that, one where I can ask that of them without feeling like I'm putting them in an uncomfortable spot. I hate making people uncomfortable, I hate being the reason why they are uneasy. How do you know when a good friend is also a close enough friend to be vulnerable with? How can you tell when they love you enough not to pity you but only have genuine concern? I don't know. I don't know how to tell until it's too late and by then I've usually come to the wrong conclusion.

Maybe I'll feel better in the morning, maybe this will all make sense then.