Consummatum Est

You know, I'm not even really angry at her right now, just frustrated and mostly tired of her drama and her bullshit. It's none of her business, not to mention that she doesn't even really want to know, she just has to know EVERYTHING - even stuff that isn't hers to know. It doesn't do anything either it just gives her all this drama to play with and to gasp about. If she asked me not to push on something and to respect her wishes I would - because that's what friends do. They respect each other. Sure there might be times when I would push and prod, but only if things like excessive use of alcohol, use of drugs, or abuse were involved. If any of my friends has something that they can't share or don't feel comfortable telling me then it's fine. It's not anything against me or the friendship, I recognize that everyone has different people in their lives that they talk to about different things. 

I am just so sick of this game she thinks she is playing. "I still love you." No, no you don't. trying to use friendship and punishment to get what you want - what you have no right to have - is not love on any level. It's manipulation.  I despise manipulation; it is one of the more perverse forms of lying out there, especially in a friendship. Trying to force something from someone who does not feel comfortable sharing to get what you want to make you feel better about yourself gets you nothing. Nothing. 

I'm not sure this can be repaired, I'm not sure I want to repair this. What sort of friend abandons another during a time of need so they can get what they what? Someone who isn't really a friend at all. A bad, manipulative friend who doesn't respect boundaries is worse than no friend at all.