Generousity and Love
So I had a thought today – well, I’ve had many thoughts today, but there are only a few that are productive and provocative enough for me to share. I’ve been thinking about what generosity really is and what love really is. These are very entangled concepts that I’m not sure I fully understand, but please bear with me as I try to pick them apart.
*Note: all the dashes, commas, and semi colons in this post are dedicated to Seth and his AMAZING book of typography. (See, only single spaces between sentences!)
Generosity:
At first I thought that looking this up in the dictionary would be helpful – it really wasn’t. Marriam-Webster defines generosity as “the trait of being willing to give your money or time” which is completely inaccurate to the nature or spirit of generosity. Surprisingly, wikipedia had the best example of what generosity should be (I’ll get to the difference between is and should be in a minute): Generosity is the habit of giving without coercion.
This is closer to what I think generosity should be, but it’s not quite there either. Marriam-Webster (MW) reduce generosity to the act of giving time or money – and not necessarily giving it freely either. MW’s definition is what generosity currently is, not what it should be. Wikipedia gets slightly closer to the mark of what generosity should be by saying that it is not coerced (manipulated, forced, teased, ripped, used as a way to get what you want by giving could also be substituted here).
Generosity is the act of giving; but more than that it is the act of giving something freely, without strings of any kind. I left “giving” open because you can be generous with more than just time and money. Love, grace, mercy, patience, etc can also be given generously. Generous is an adjective, it describes something; it also gives color and flavor to acts. For example, “she generously opened her house;” generous describes how she did something – not necessarily what she did with it. This is not a good example, but I’m not sure how exactly to work this through.
When you give generously it should be given not just freely as stated above, but should be given without expectation of a return on the investment. If it is given with expectation of being repaid then it ceases to be generous, does it not? For example if you “generously” give someone money, yet expect to be repaid or place conditions on how it is to be used then it becomes a loan or an investment. When something given turns into calculating the requital (immediate or long-term) it becomes about the person giving, not the person receiving which negates the gift altogether.
Money, time, any sort of gift given grudgingly is not generous. Rather, is it given out of guilt - knowing you should give but not wanting to, shame - being guilted by conscious or another party to do something you normally wouldn’t do, or greed - seeing the potential for repayment in power, emotion, debt or money. Just because something is given, even in large quantities does not mean that it is generous.
Now, how does love fit into this? I think that love, true love – true as in right, good, honest, heartfelt, etc – is a generous act. When you give a piece of yourself, or all of yourself in the case of marriage, to someone is it not an act of generosity? Love is given freely and wholly without reservations – otherwise it is not love. Is this true? Is that how love should be given?
If love is not love unless it is given generously where does that leave us?
Love is a gift, a generous gift – one that we could not ever earn.
*Note: all the dashes, commas, and semi colons in this post are dedicated to Seth and his AMAZING book of typography. (See, only single spaces between sentences!)
Generosity:
At first I thought that looking this up in the dictionary would be helpful – it really wasn’t. Marriam-Webster defines generosity as “the trait of being willing to give your money or time” which is completely inaccurate to the nature or spirit of generosity. Surprisingly, wikipedia had the best example of what generosity should be (I’ll get to the difference between is and should be in a minute): Generosity is the habit of giving without coercion.
This is closer to what I think generosity should be, but it’s not quite there either. Marriam-Webster (MW) reduce generosity to the act of giving time or money – and not necessarily giving it freely either. MW’s definition is what generosity currently is, not what it should be. Wikipedia gets slightly closer to the mark of what generosity should be by saying that it is not coerced (manipulated, forced, teased, ripped, used as a way to get what you want by giving could also be substituted here).
Generosity is the act of giving; but more than that it is the act of giving something freely, without strings of any kind. I left “giving” open because you can be generous with more than just time and money. Love, grace, mercy, patience, etc can also be given generously. Generous is an adjective, it describes something; it also gives color and flavor to acts. For example, “she generously opened her house;” generous describes how she did something – not necessarily what she did with it. This is not a good example, but I’m not sure how exactly to work this through.
When you give generously it should be given not just freely as stated above, but should be given without expectation of a return on the investment. If it is given with expectation of being repaid then it ceases to be generous, does it not? For example if you “generously” give someone money, yet expect to be repaid or place conditions on how it is to be used then it becomes a loan or an investment. When something given turns into calculating the requital (immediate or long-term) it becomes about the person giving, not the person receiving which negates the gift altogether.
Money, time, any sort of gift given grudgingly is not generous. Rather, is it given out of guilt - knowing you should give but not wanting to, shame - being guilted by conscious or another party to do something you normally wouldn’t do, or greed - seeing the potential for repayment in power, emotion, debt or money. Just because something is given, even in large quantities does not mean that it is generous.
Now, how does love fit into this? I think that love, true love – true as in right, good, honest, heartfelt, etc – is a generous act. When you give a piece of yourself, or all of yourself in the case of marriage, to someone is it not an act of generosity? Love is given freely and wholly without reservations – otherwise it is not love. Is this true? Is that how love should be given?
If love is not love unless it is given generously where does that leave us?
Love is a gift, a generous gift – one that we could not ever earn.
posted by Rebecca at 1:45 AM
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