Bark vs. Bite

I can't decide if I am frustrated, annoyed or despondent - maybe all three, it's hard to tell. You know, despondent is the wrong word because it implies that all hope is gone, maybe morose is a better word. Yes, morose is better because it can be dark and right now I'm feeling a little dark and broodish.

People keep walking on egg shells with me and I can't figure out why. If it was Carrie it would be easy to figure out why (only sort of though because I haven't blown up at Carrie in years.) Over the past year I have very rarely exploded on someone, anyone really. The whole growing up, maturity thing going on. Hmmm... there was that one time with Nate though, but I didn't yell or scream or shout. And I apologized for that. Anyway, he's not the one walking on egg shells so I guess that doesn't really count in this instance.

Do people really find me all that scary or intimidating? I know I can be when I try, but I usually don't think of myself someone who is considered volatile or easily ruffled. To be honest it's a little disturbing. Then again I may be blowing behavior way out of proportion or completely misinterpreting things - but a few people's attitude, behavior and body language are all off and that makes me a little curious and a little worried.

I wish people would just come out and tell me what's going on. My brain is so imaginative it comes up with all the possibilities and to be honest it plays havoc on me. It's easier to deal with what's really going on than dealing with all the different possibilities that my brain can come up with - like the fact that people stop talking to me because they stopped liking me once they got to know me. That one is always the hardest because for some people I really trusted and opened myself to that's what happened.

So please, if you are one of those people I would much rather you just come out and tell me what's going on, I promise not to bark or even bite.