So far away from you are

It hurts so much that I can scarcely breath. My lungs are so tight that I don't know how I haven't collapsed. It's all I can to do to keep from sobbing all day long. Shaun can over and gave me one of those one-armed side hugs and I had to flee to the bathroom to keep from crying on him. Day after day the pain just keeps building in my chest - like I'm trapped in some awful hell dimension where every day my heart gets ripped out and thrown at my feet. I can't stop crying - all he does is give me a hug and pat me on the back which makes me cry harder because no matter how much or how many different ways I explain it to him he doesn't understand. He doesn't get it. God... it hurts so much... please just make it stop; I'd do anything to make it stop...

She said "If we're gonna make this work
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see"
She said "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me"
-Lifehouse, Whatever it Takes

I miss you

So distant I can hardly see you
so quiet I can't hear what you are trying to say
I miss the way you would smile
every time I entered a room
I miss the way you kissed my head
or took my face in your hands
I miss you and wish you were here

Sometimes I see a glimpse of who you are
Sometimes a gesture or whisper of you appears
I miss the way you would reach for me
and pull me into your arms
I miss your enthusiasm and joy for life
for me when ever I was there
I miss you and wish you were here

I've forgotten what your smile feels like
I've forgotten how the beat of your heart sounds in my ear
I miss you and wish you were here
So far away from where we started
so far away from who you were
and I miss you... I miss you

My heart hurts and my lungs burn - my air is all gone
My eyes are never dry and my soul has disappeared
I miss the way you played with my hair
and how you eyes crinkled first here and then there
I miss you dancing away from my seeking hands
and drawing me near to you
I miss you and wish you were here

All I can see are the shadows of your heart
All I want is more than pieces of you
I miss the way you loved me
and the way you knelt to ask me to be yours
I miss the way I was something to you
and how you trusted me to feel the same
I miss you and wish you where here

and I miss you and wish you would come back to me
I am waiting for the sun to burn back the clouds
I am waiting for you to return from where you are
I miss you and miss all the little things about you
I miss you and I am here