Sunshine

I just finished reading Sunshine by Robin McKinley - again. It's actually been a while since I've read Sunshine, but each time I do I leave with something else; each time I read it it's like I'm reading the book for the first time. Each time something else strikes me at my core. The recognition of something true.

My sunshine self, my tree self, my deer self. Do they outweigh my dark self?

I love the ending of the book, and I don't just mean the last chapter or so. I think what I like most about it is when Rae decides that she doesn't care - not that she doesn't care about life or things in general, but that she doesn't care that Constantine is a vampire. She knows that he is and accepts that which binds them. She accepts her fate, knowing, believing that she is going to die if she goes with him to fight Bo - and she does. Not just because she is bound to Con, but because it's the right thing to do. She does it despite of her fear, knowing that she will be leaving behind those that she loves - knowing that there was no hope. She did it anyway.

There is a character that really stuck with me this time around: Yolande the wardskeeper/landlady. She is a minor character, but has the best lines and the best part:

"Most magic handlers have a talent for one thing or another, and it is drawn from one area of this worked or another. A foreseer with a principal rapport with trees may see visions in a burl of her favorite wood, for example, rather than in the traditional crystal ball. A sorcerer whose strongest relationship is with water will be much likelier to drown his or her enemy than to meet them in battle, although one with an affinity for metal would forge a sword."
"Affinity" I said bitterly. "my affinity is for vampires."
"No," said Yolande, "Why do you say that?"
"Pat. SOF. That's why they want me. Because I'm a m-magic handler" - I could hardly get the phrase out..."with an affinity for vampires."
Yolande shook her head. "The hierarchies of magic handling are no particular study of mine. But your principal affinity is for sunlight; your element, as it were... and as for your - let us call it counteraffinity: your counteraffinity may be for vampires... It is the strength of the element in you that makes you more able to resist - and simultaneously embrace - it's opposite. You are not consumed by the dark because you are full of light" (McKinley, 333-334.)

Sometimes I feel very much like Rae Seddon, affinity for baking and vampires included.

My sunshine self, my tree self, my deer self. Do they outweigh my dark self?

A Svenske Christmas Carroll

The following poem was written by my grandfather Chuck quite a few years ago and it has been a Taylor family tradition to have this recited every Christmas season. Since both my sister and I now live half way across the country (she live the whole way) we decided that we wanted to preserve this family tradition and asked for a copy from Dad. We were a little dismayed when what we got looked something like "Dare vas a nite befor Chistmas, I vas combing my hair. My freesser vas empty..." So after a night of translation, spell checking, grammer punctuating and adding a line so the meter would match we came up with a slightly more polished version of what my grandfather calls A Svenske Christmas Carroll. Without further ado:

A Svenske Christmas Carroll
by Charles Addison Taylor

T’was the night before Christmas, I was combing my hair,
My freezer was empty, my cupboard was bare,
And all at once I heard such a racket.
My head she was bursting; I hardly could hack it.

I limped to the window to see what it was:
There was old Santa, red nose, whisker fuzz,
And out on the front yard, hitched to the sleigh
Were nine beautiful reindeer (the front one was Rudolf); I thought, “What a day!”

There was meat for my freezer and more for a stew!
I grabbed my Huskvarna, I knew what to do.
With only five shots, there in the snow
All nine reindeer lay dead, in a neat row.

And there was Santa screaming, “Now what will I do?”
I said, “Go soak your head, you silly old pooh!" (He was a Norwegian.)
Then I skinned and I butchered and I cut and I wrapped
All that good meat while everybody slept.

Then I washed and I scrubbed and I climbed into bed–
Oh my goodness, my sick aching head.
Then I wiggled and jerked and I woke with a start
There was a bright Christmas sun warming my heart.

My head was much better, the air was all clear,
There had been way too much of that free Christmas cheer.
I stretched and yawned, and as my feet hit the floor
I began to think of the night before

And the evil deed I had done.
So I went to the front yard to look at the lawn–
There was no bloody mess there on the snow,
Just two neat tracks that did come and did go.

I knew right away there was something the matter,
So I went in the house to look in the freezer.
I lifted the lid just a wee tiny crack,
And my nose got a big beautiful smack

Of lutefisk and smoked herring!
It was full to the brim and on top was a note
“Merry Christmas to all”
And that was all that he wrote.

Twilight

Ok, I know - but I gave in and went and saw Twilight tonight. I wasn't expecting much; I rarely do on books turned into movies, especially on such a low budget (compared to adaptations like Harry Potter.) The whole experience was awful, and not just because of the screaming middle school girls who I wanted to kill in some very violent, painful and gruesome ways. I almost hucked my water bottle at the girls who could not, for the life of them, stop giggling but I was afraid I would miss and hit the poor suffering dad who was trying to spend some quality time with his daughter.

What was most vexing about the film was that there were these 10-20 second clips where it was good - it felt like the story and I don't just mean true to the novel, but it felt like characters even if they weren't delivering the right lines at the right places...and then it would revert back to cover your eyes and squirm in your seat badness.

There were two good things about the movie:
1. Charlie. The guy who played him was great. He had great timing with his lines and he did the character really well and he was funny - I found it ironic that the only depth in the entire movie was the character that had the least amount of lines.
2. The scenery. My heart went "oh look - it's the place I love most! See how beautiful it is?" There were some absolutely great shots of Washington - the color was absolutely vivid. Most people think that Washington is this washed out grey blah state because of the rain and the clouds. It really isn't. The colors pop out more - the green is so many shades of bright green, flowers are richer in color, etc and the film showed that 90% cloud cover doesn't have to mean ugly.

One of the worst thing about the movie was that all the quirky things that went into the book that made it funny, charming and endearing were taken out. All that was left was over acted teenaged angst. The only good comparison I can come up with is to picture Pride and Prejudice with all of Elizabeth's wit and humor removed. Darcy is still gorgeous and brooding, but suddenly Elizabeth isn't worth the heartache from the audience's point of view - there was nothing appealing about this Bella.

In conclusion, it was this badly acted, badly written, badly directed, forced, one sided love story that didn't make any sense.

Now I'm out $10 and have a headache from all the screaming. Blah.

Death Knell for Ford, Chyrsler and GM

You know the auto industry is getting desperate when...

You receive in the mail an actual valet key with a flier attached that says "EMERGENCY SELL-OFF!" and then in smaller letter "BRING YOUR KEY IN TO SEE WHICH CAR YOU MIGHT HAVE WON while supplies last; customer is responsible for all taxes, tags, fees and down payment"

So... let me get this straight: you mailed me a key that may or may not fit a car (not to mention who knows what type of car it is) and I still have to pay for this car that I suppositly won, all so you can get me onto a dealership lot so I can think about buying a new or used car that I probably can't afford.

I have great hope for the American Credit Industry... oi

Advent Conspiracy

Blah

I am so BORED! It is driving me nuts not having a job - not having anything to do. There are so many times I can clean my kitchen! I have re-read just about every book I have that's any good (I do have books I don't particularly like, but I think are valuable to have - i.e. books by Charles Dickens) which makes me want to go out and buy more books - something I can't do because I don't have a job. ARG!

I don't understand how people, especially women can just sit around a house all day - there is only so much to do. TV during the day sucks - they don't even play reruns of good tv shows and there are only so many episodes of Buffy and NCIS that I can handle in a single day.

Please, dear Lord, let someone hire me!

Curse of Curves

Cute Is What We Aim For

I've got the gift of one liners
And you've got the curse of curves
And with this gift I compose words
And the question that comes forward
Are you perspiring from the irony
Or sweating to these lyrics
And this just in
You're a dead fit
But my wit won't allow it
The inside lingo had me at hello
And we go where the money goes
The inside lingo had me at hello
And we go where the money goes

I want someone provocative and talkative
But it's so hard when you're shallow as a shower
And from what I've heard with skin you'll win

Her bone structure screams
"Touch her! Touch her!"
And she's got the curse of curves
So with the combination of my gift with one liners
And my way
My way with words
It seems I'm too hip to keep tight lipped
And you're on the gossip team
You're making something out of nothing
And jealousy's the cousin, the cousin of greed
The inside lingo had me at hello
And we go where the money goes
The inside lingo had me at hello
And we go where the money goes

I want someone provocative and talkative
But it's so hard when you're shallow as a shower
And from what I've heard with skin you'll win

Her bone structure screams (I want someone)
"Touch her! Touch her!"
And she's got the curse, the curse of: (I want someone)
From what I've heard with skin you'll win

We All have teeth that can bite underneath
To where the reality grows
Yeah, that's where mine go
that's where mine go
We all have teeth that can bite underneath
To where the reality grows
Yeah that's where mine go
Where the reality grows:
From what I've heard with skin you'll win
And from what I've heard with skin you'll win

I want someone provocative and talkative
But it's so hard when you're shallow as a shower
And from what I've heard with skin you'll win

Her bone structure screams (I want someone)
"Touch her! Touch her!"
And she's got the curse, the curse of: (I want someone)
From what I've heard with skin you'll win
With skin you'll win
Skin you'll win

Dark space in my soul

So, it's been a while since I posted anything and I thought I would give a quick update of what's been happening. Everything has been moved into the new apartment which is, thankfully, completely smoke free, except the kitchen table which I have yet to find. It is amazing how you see things on the bright side once you've lived in an over priced slum.

I'm still looking for a job, had one interview earlier this week, so we'll see how that goes. Ryan however got a good paying job and we're both really excited about it - it's completely perfect for him. It's really weird to have all this time off - I've been trying to figure out what to do with my time and not spend any money. A good portion of my time is applying for jobs, but after a while you realize that you've applied for everything and you just wait for new jobs to be posted. I found the local library, which I am very happy with. They don't have a large selection of books, but they do have this one day exchange with Boulder and Denver libraries (it only takes one business day to get the book to your local library) which means that the possibilities are endless.

There is, however, one draw back - and it's a big one. I was so shocked when I learned this I thought I might be sick. I can't fully explain to you how horrible this monstrosity is... There isn't a Barnes and Noble within 15 miles of the apartment. 15 MILES! It's complete and utter depravity - almost worth being smite by the hand of God for such blasphemy. I shudder at the cold darkness that is in my soul because of this atrocity.

*sighs* woe is me. at least I still have my Barnes and Noble card to get discounts online. :)